Pices of my heart
by SolSosa
Summary: someone is missing, someone is trying to forget... Krad/Satoshi... mostly angst, Krads POV kindda. Warnings:Shonen AI, Character Death.


Disclaimer: If I owned DNAngel it would be so much more dramatic! So no, I do not own but the plot of this story.

A/N: So… first fanfic in a long time…. It was not meant to be a fanfic but an original story (which probably means ooc) but then I reread it and it just hit me, 'this is so sato/krad' if I just add this and that… and then boom!! (it could be applied to other couples too but anyhow..) XD so here you go, hopefully someone will like it ^^ ( I write a lot but never upload so don't expect to see much of my work unless you press really hard, which I know you probably wont)…. More explanations ate the end.

Apology: this has not been reviewed by my beta so there might be many mistakes, I apologize for that but I will pass the story to her shortly so expect an update with spelling and grammar corrections soon. XD

Pieces of heart.

"I used not to care…not to think…not to feel…. I used to…" it was too painful to admit the truth "…I used not to care but …I lost practice…" again I lied, it's funny how one little detail can trigger up so many things…something so insignificant as a word, a scent, a gesture…a memory.

I saw a mirror…. and inside of that mirror I saw you… I had almost forgotten you lived there, right there in the corner of my eye… in the shadows of a void a mere reflection of what you used to be…of what we used to be… it was all buried in the very back of my mind but the instant my mind flew to that place your name came out of my mouth just as naturally as my breathing, and suddenly, with that simple word, everything came back to my mind… all the painful memories, all your perfect features, all the precious joy.

I knew I couldn't go back, still I wished I was sitting there, right besides you in that car, whished I was there when you needed me the most, I shouldn't have let you go all alone, but I did. I wasn't there at the cliff when everything happened but I know I made you jump, I should have been there…you invited me the night before yet I refused, I didn't want to go because lately I didn't feel that comfortable around you, still I should had gone, just to keep you alive. My ghost should have been up there to keep you company, but it wasn't. If you ever remembered me in those last moments I'm afraid my memory only drove you nearer to the edge… I made you jump, I know that, you told me so yourself… before you went away I broke you, you needed me and I just sent you off, you needed somewhere to cry and I slapped the door on your face, but even if that's something I will never forgive myself for it is also something I have to live with, it's part of my scars, my life…my mask.

Is as if with your death you had brought back all those things I thought I had forgotten how to do I cried and felt so lost… you were dead and it hurt to think about it.

Now I look into the mirror and it's all gone, the glittering pool of shadowy memories remains untouched and the image that meets my own eyes smiles at me with a condescending grin, I look at it and I only see a mask, sweet mask beneath my face, guarding me, keeping me apart, killing myself little by little.

You smile at me as well… good-bye Satoshi, I have to go on living on your place, so that no one but me knows, good bye my love, soon I'll be with you again but before I have to protect those you love from the pain of loosing you, before I wanted you to be only mine but now that you are gone I can not bring myself to break the heart of those how you loved, Niwa should be dead and not you but life is unfair and I should had learned that long ago but you always made me not be myself so I soon forgot again, now I have to keep up with this until your body grows cold… this precious body is all I have left of you but soon, my love soon I'll meet you again.

"I used not to love."

A/N 2!: so, basically Satoshi commits suicide and Krad is asleep or something (big plot hole I know) so when he wakes up Satoshis' soul is already gone (It is scientifically proved the body still functions after a couple our from death and Satoshis' body heals really fast because of Krad, (or at least that is what I understood from the manga) there before, the body is alive but Satoshi is not, get it? If no then too bad so sad, review and I'll try to explain better personally) but the body is still rescuable… so he saves the body, why? Well… I feel like I should do another story explaining all of this… well, if there is enough reviews I just might… idk…depends on my mood, and what my dear beta thinks ^^


End file.
